@ge g@p

By CATTLEPROD on 10:15 PM

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Douglas Copeland originally pigeonholed my generation as "Generation X". As in that kak subject of maths, the X stands for something unknown. Basically he pigeonholed us as a generation unable to be pigeonholed. We’re the first generation (since generations started being studied by marketers) to be practically “lost”. We’re almost a non-entity. Wedged solidly between the Boomers and the next bunch (the sprogs being punched out now, some of which are our children), we don’t really have a motto, or a call to action, an ethos, or a cause. It’s almost depressing thinking about us.


We’re the most suicidal, most depressed, most abusive of substances, most apathetic, least committed, most philandering, most incarcerated, least predictable. We don’t vote, we don’t care, we are self-obsessed, vain, shallow and disgustingly materialistic. Our entire existence is simply consumerism. We know more about celebrity than we do about calculus. Our collective intelligence is borne out of so-called revolutionary educational systems that have basically left us semi-literate and primed to fill humdrum slots on the great capitalist conveyor belt. Dreams dashed, ambition muzzled. We leave the stench of nihilism everywhere. Nihilism you ask? Nothingness, my guy. We’re so apathetic we couldn’t be assed to get off the PS3 to be anarchists. We’re barely human. Some robots have been known to show more human-like behaviour.


We cannot enjoy the sexual revolution our parents’ generation fucked so hard for, because all they did was release the horrors of rampant teen pregnancy, carpet bomb abortions, Rohypnol, Viagra, unparalleled divorce rates, STDs and the killer HIV. Thanks guys.


The drug revolution was supposed to expand consciousness, spiritualism and open our minds and souls to newer, exciting experiences in touch with the earth, the galaxy and our futures. 12 year old school girls are now shacking up in Hillbrow hotels as crack whores. Cocaine is an after-dinner mint. Ecstasy pills are called disco biscuits. Yummy, schnack, schnack, schnack. Drain cleaner is an ingredient in one of the most popular insufflated (that’s the proper term for schnarfing – see education notes above) drugs heaving through our collective nightly outings. Expand your consciousness? Only druggies could think of that.


The generations before us destroyed the last bastions of institutionalised racism and sexism. Thanks for that one too folks, we’re all flippen equal now but totally confused about who the fuck we are. Am I male? If so, am I a metrosexual, an ubersexual, a retrosexual, one of the guys, detached emotionally or in touch with my feminine side? Black people that embrace western culture are coconuts. White people that like hip hop are wiggas. Women are dykes, bisexual, sapphosexual, bicurious, sexually liberated, slags, ho’s, bitches or they have lots of cats. By wiping out traditional gender and race definitions and abhorring them as negative we have all lost our identities and culture.


The melting pot is dark green like sickly hyaena vomit and thick as hot tar. It’s not a fucking rainbow dammit. The global village and “it’s a small world after all” have diluted everything. We can be in New York tomorrow, chat over the net to Australians, e-mail from the jet to Kazahkstan, catch a bullet train to France, the Chunnel under the sea to England, a Ferrari at 300km/h on the Autobahn in Germany. Basically, we’ve got it all and we’ve got it now…


Now what?


Nobody knows what the fuck we’re all about. Not even ourselves. The minute some marketer thinks he’s got us in his crosshairs, we move the goalposts. “Oh no you freaking don’t!” we say to the bastards. We’re individuals. The problem with individualism is that it doesn’t work. As individuals we can only accomplish so much. As individuals we have summarily annihilated collective anything. There’s no collective reasoning, no collective cause. We take two steps forward, five sideways, three back and we then do the hokey pokey and turn around… if we wanna.


Our music is a perfect reflection of the multiple schisms and dissections within our generation. Nobody knows what music we like - is it rap, punk, progressive, hip hop, industrial, hardtrance, minimal tech, world beat, retro hippie crap or none of the above? Even within each so-called genre is a myriad of different sub-genres. Nothing defines us the way rock n' roll did the boomers.


What the fuck man?


Indeed the bleak picture I have painted above may have many of you feeling stomach-churningly lost, depressed and alone. I have however, deliberately left out one glaring factor that can, will and already is pulling us together in ways never dreamed of. It’s technology of course. Just over a decade ago the Internet was “new” to most of us. In that short time we have all become cybernauts. The Internet is no longer cyberspace. We now call it home. Our tenacious individualism that threatened the very breakdown of the thin strands that hold societies together, although preserved, is now corralled on the Internet. We have come together, as individuals. We were straying, losing focus, just being, consuming, breathing and dying. Now we celebrate the death of Generation X. Typically, we cannot be pigeonholed, we WILL redefine ourselves. We once were lost but now we’re found… on the Internet. We are now: Generation @. A generation that will redefine the term: technocracy (tek-nok-ruh-see) - A type of society marked by the dominant role of people with specialised technical skills, particularly engineers. You see, we are now the technical elite. We are the leaders in this world. We were there from the start. We grew up as it grew up. We know the ins and outs. We can leverage this awesome tool of technology to create the world that we, as individuals, wanted.


We’re individuals. The problem with individualism is that it doesn’t work. As individuals we can only accomplish so much. But now we have the tool that brings us together. Together we stand, divided we fall.


That’s where our generation is @.

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