An interesting topic fell on my plate recently as an acquaintance related a tale of his latest sexual conquest. The two had been together for a month or so and the one night they were enjoying an evening at home with a bit of wine. So far, so good. Sounds like a great recipe for some serious sheet-grabbing a bit later. As predicted the two end up nekkid in bed, in the throes of unbridled passion. Suddenly, the once demure young lass screams out: “F**k me like a b*tch!”

To tell you the truth, I was a little taken aback at this sudden flexing of sexual muscle. Holy Mary of Blessed Virgins! Firstly, this statement would not have been out of place in any one of the man’s porno collection. It would have been expected, but right here, right now, in his bed, naked woman, saying it to HIM. You can imagine the surprised whites of his eyes showing up glaringly in the dark of the room as his mouth opens and shuts silently like a stoned goldfish.

You see this little statement of sexual confidence totally threw him off balance. He honestly did not know what to do. I mean sure, he’s seen the pornos and what they do when the high-heeled, gartered porn queen says “F**k me like a b*tch!”… the oiled, eye-poppingly endowed muscle man then fucks her like a bitch. But how the hell is the common man supposed to know how or why or what to do?

Women are complicated creatures as it is. Sexually, we perceive them as some massive mainframe with a Windows operating system that crashes at the least provocation. Men sit there trying to plug that in, twiddle that, fiddle there, poke that, tweak here, perhaps a light spank on the back… but still the darned thing doesn’t boot up. This situation is like the Little Shop of Horrors when the beast-plant screams: “FEEED MEEEE SEYMOUR!” Skriks the living ba-jayzus out of us.

This may seem weird to women. They think we’re just born knowing how to “take” a woman. You know, bend her over the couch and roger her feverishly. But, as with any form of sexual prowess, this needs to be learnt and frankly the amount of times some woman has said “Fuck me like a bitch!” to any man can be counted on one hand most probably. This scenario has played out in his mind many a time though as he imagines he will skillfully flip her around like he’s making a balloon animal and satisfy her raging desire. Not so… unfortunately.

The media and society have slowly and successfully been nurturing men that are gentle and most caring about a woman’s needs. He’ll romance her for weeks with candlelit dinners and picnics, listening intently to her innermost thoughts and drinking in her intelligent conversation. He’ll then smother her with butterfly kisses and spend hour upon hour on foreplay, before slowly and kindly sliding inside her at the perfect moment to coax her deftly to orgasm, while skillfully toying with her clitoris. This is apparently what women want. This is what men today think that women want.

Indeed this sort of gentle romanticism and lovemaking is definitely what women want… but not all the time. Sometimes, she just wants to be rogered good and proper… or in the above case, she wanted to be fucked like a bitch. “Desperate Housewives” and “Sex in the City” have heralded the arrival of the OPENLY sexually confident woman.

A new survey says 82 percent of Baby Boomer women (born in the 40’s and 50’s) are very or somewhat confident sexually. The researchers suggest sexual confidence and self knowledge increase as women go through life, based on the lower confidence scores for younger women.

The Generation X women (born in the 1960s and 1970s) were right behind the boomers with 81 percent, but Generation Y women (born in the 1980s and 1990s) scored far behind at 64 percent. The national survey, the Elexa by Trojan Survey of Women and Desire, says nearly two-thirds of women agree that having good sex is a priority in their lives. While sexual attitudes, needs and desires differ between life stage and ethnicity, all generations desire more sex, as voiced by 60 percent of sexually active women wishing they were having it more often.

What this survey says is that women get more sexually confident with age – and the majority want more sex… yeehaw. It’s well known that a woman peaks sexually in her thirties… although 40 is the new 30. Nevertheless, I would argue that more and more women are becoming more and more confident from a younger age. The media and their peers have given them this right. It’s okay to be like that now… just pick up a flippen Cosmo. Previously women were worried about being judged as a slapper or being seen as sexually aggressive, but now they are taking ownership of their sexuality and literally asking for it the way they want it. If she feels right then and there like being a dirty girl who just wants to be fucked like a bitch… well then hey, she asks for it.

What does the man do about it? Well he steps up to the plate dammit. As much as he’s been practicing his slow and sexy tongue technique he also needs to be able to read women correctly and know when she wants him to grab a fistful of her hair, kiss her so hard her lipstick smudges messily all over her face, rip off her thong and give it to her like a man!