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Hit the ground running


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Hitting the ground running 

I crank out this old chestnut every year at this time. Enjoy!

Ah, the halcyon days of a summer holiday. The aptly titled festive season is pregnant with the stuff of dreams. Presents and parties. Beaches and beers. Sunshine and surf. Fiestas and siestas. Mamasitas and margheritas. Mexican revelry aside, the list is boundless and embodies the true reward for our year-long slog at the coalface. Yet all too soon the wrapping paper is lining your kitchen drawers, the tree is dead; the hangovers linger like farts under the blankets, and the final grains of beach sand fall out of your boardshorts as you pack them away to the back of your cupboard.

Your first Monday back at work and cold reality hits you like a cement avalanche. It’s like waking up from a particularly erotic dream involving your tongue down Megan Fox’s throat, only to find your bulldog Winston lapping lovingly at your face. What the (insert preferred expletive)? The New Year is supposed to spell hope and renewed vigour after your relaxing sabbatical. You are supposed to be champing at the bit and rearing to go. Bollocks!

Post-holiday blues they call it. And when it hits, it’s like an uppercut from an amphetamine-crazed Mike Tyson. The causes are numerous and evil:

Fatigue: Yup, that holiday was supposed to recharge your batteries, but nooooo, you had to go at it hammer and tongs. You should have flashbacks of tequila marathons, four course gluttony, dancing on tables, falling off tables, spading anything with a pulse, beers for breakfast, too many sunrises through inebriated eyes. Eish! Basically, you’re fucked. You’re body has taken a Santa-sized rockin’ and now the liver police are a knockin’.

Unfulfilled expectations: You thought that somehow the holiday would magically fix everything and transform your life. Dude it’s just a holiday. Same shit, different day is now your mantra. 

Financial reality: Bonus, thirteenth cheque, Xmas cash from Granma, salary for January which you said would last. Sure. It’s all gone. Your credit card looks like a Dali painting, molten and ugly. Screw road fatalities, budgets are the first casualties of the festive season. 

Relationship tensions: Your romantic holiday turned into a 2-week emotional hurricane. Bickering, blow outs, snide remarks about map reading etc. Or the typical family gatherings turned into bitter, perhaps bloody, feuds. 

Work schmirk: Back at work you have 1434 unanswered e-mails. You slacked off before the break letting stuff pile up. Everyone else is cranky. Everyone wants it yesterday. Ouch!

Essentially, a great recipe for suicidal tendencies. And who can blame you? If you feel bright and chipper in your grey cubicle staring at a flickering PC screen after weeks of sun, sand, beach and babes, then you need your head read. But all is not lost. Here’s some tips on filing that shit under yesterday’s news and looking to 2011 with all that florid shyte you got sent via SMS on New Year’s day. You know, wings to fly, dreams to cuddle, unicorns vomiting rainbows and all that girly bollocks.

Health: Time to pay your debt. Multi-vitamins, fruit and veg, bit of gym or a jog. Few less Patrons on a Friday night. You know the drill, now do it. Waking up with a massive hangover now will only send you deeper down. Feeling healthy will give you renewed energy.

Friends and family: Dude you had a blast with all those people. Why stop now? Visit people, go for coffee, send e-mails, and make a few calls. Just because you aren’t on holiday doesn’t mean the deathknell of your social life. Moping is the worst thing you can do. 

Plan your future: Nothing left to look forward to, huh? Make plans. Start planning a weekend away ASAP, or even your Easter break. Mark down in your diary any events like parties, engagements, concerts, sports, hell even braais. This will give you plenty to look forward to.

Cheap, cheap: Conserving precious financial resources is the order of the day. Go out less. If you wanna have a blow-out, have a cocktail party. Ask each person to bring a different spirit or mixer. DVD instead of the movies. Pasta instead of prawns. Picnics in the park. Chill by the pool with a book. Go for a drive in the country. Sleep.

The dreaded Work: Work is gonna be hell the first few weeks. Try and ease into it. Take your whole lunch break out of the office. Even if it’s just a zarm in the carpark. Don’t work late to catch up. Get your colleagues to help out. You’re all in this together.

Hopefully, these crutches will help a little. It’s still gonna hurt, but hey, you should have some awesome holiday memories to tide you over. Don’t dwell too much on them though. Start thinking how you’re gonna top it this December. 

Good luck!

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