Listening to Kieno Kammies on 702 and they are discussing Jealousy in Relationships. Here's my response:
Trust must be earned and not freely given! Until you earn my trust I refuse to trust you. I don't think this is an illogical nor emotional decision. Earn my trust and Keep my trust, then you have free reign. Break my trust and I will never trust you. I have 'To thine own self be true' tattooed on my chest because the minute you lie to anyone, you are lying to yourself and therefore you can't give people your trust until you know that they are being true to themselves... otherwise EVERYTHING is a lie. And everyone loses.
"This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." - William Shakespeare - Hamlet. Polonius' advice to his son Laertes.
I live by absolute, brutal, honest truth with myself, so deception cuts close to the bone. When you are a true and honest person, and you live your life like an open book - heart on your sleeve and all that - you expose yourself to fallible humanity. And we are all fallible.
It's a tough road to walk, but in the end, truth and trust are intricately linked.
Last quote: "If you are speaking the truth; you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain.
If all of humanity could just start being true to themselves... I'll leave you with that.
3 comments for this post
While I know the origin of this post and having dealt with this many a times in my past times, I have to say that it's a very very tricky topic.
While I give free reign to my partner (single currently) and believe that they should have the integrity to maintain the relationship even when they are alone.
My trust's been broken many a times and I also carry my heart on my shoulder, but this should not stop oneself from trusting others just by one bad example.
While we carry emotion with us, small events awakens that roaring monster and you feel like you want to explode when your suspicions rise. Often they are false positives, influenced from bad past experiences, but never turn a blind eye on your gut either, it's always good to listen to your gut. The hardest part is to identify which is real, and which is just stupid emotions that is uncalled for.
While I can vouch that from my experience, within your context, that trust shouldn't be an issue in this monogamous relationship as love reigns supreme between the parties from my dealings and I'd love to see it carry through into the future...
Trust gets broken when the communication starts falling apart. Some people don't want to tell me a lie, so they rather keep quiet and that is rather noticeable, no more than a lie though.
But in the end I have learnt that we only live one life, if it's meant to be then it will be but don't agitate something that is not there, thoughts becomes things and it's easier to say, "You know what, he already thinks I'm cheating on him, so I might as well...."
I'll leave you with that...
Thought you might find some value in this post of OSHO http://imielvisser.com/2010/10/03/when-two-mature-persons-are-in-love-osho/
Nah dude, nothing really sparked it besides the conversations on 702. My take on infidelity is that I just won't do it. Not because of the person I'm with, but because of me! Guilt is a cancer and I'd rather avoid cancer thanks :) Not to mention the whole being true to yourself etc. Just can not and will not cheat. It's a conscious decision, as is cheating.